Case Study, Toxic Behavior: Mike Nifong and Duke Lacrosse April 12, 2007
Posted by Jeff in Client Selection, Decision-Making.add a comment
The exoneration of three Duke Lacrosse players by North Carolina AG, Roy Cooper, in an alleged rape case and the “tragic rush to accuse” by District Attorney, Mike Nifong inspired this suggestion for a new term be added into the toxic behavior lexicon.
ni-fong / : [naye-fahng]
–verb (used with object)
- to levy accusation for purpose of fostering one’s own personal or political ambitions.
- to systematically withhold factual information that would reveal the truth.
- to accuse another of an egregious or criminal offense (such as physical violence) without any physical evidence or corroborating eye-witness accounts.
- form of toxic behavior whose damaging effects harm the lives, livelihoods, and communities of thousands.
[Origin: 2006-2007; see District Attorney for County of Durham, State of North Carolina)
]
—Related forms
ni·fonged, past-participle
ni·fong, noun
ni·fong·ly, adverb
—Synonyms: accuse, indict, incriminate, impeach, destroy, toxify.
—Antonyms: exonerate, tell the truth, maintain the public trust, act responsibly.
Humor aside: this is an astonishing, highly public, and costly example of the far-reaching damage that could occur from a single toxic act. Highly unlikely you will ever be nifonged, but even minor forms of toxic behavior can damage your life and business.
Fire Don Imus: The perils of emotive decision-making April 12, 2007
Posted by Jeff in Bias, Decision-Making.2 comments
If you haven’t heard of talk radio host, Don Imus, before, there is a pretty good chance you have heard of him now. For nearly 40 years, Imus has been an unapologetic equal opportunity offender. His crass, racist comments about the predominantly black Women’s Basketball team at Rutgers University have set off a firestorm of controversy.
The Rutgers team had an improbable run in the Women’s Collegiate Basketball Championship before losing in the Final game. Rather than basking in their accomplishment, they have been subjected to comments, that as a father, I would never want to hear about my daughter.
What I find notable, are the calls for Imus’ dismissal from Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Democratic candidate for president, Barack Obama, and others. So, let’s consider the message being sent if Imus is fired.
Make a racist comment = Suffer the consequences (as in lose your livelihood).
Is this really the best course of action? Isn’t merely sanctioning words just a bit short-sighted? Do the consequences amount to little more than censorship?
How is the cause of confronting racism and bias best served?
By addressing the words OR addressing the thinking?
Does the end of bias come more readily from exercising the thought process?
Seems to me that an exercised mind is an open mind.
An open mind sees the character of a person, rather than the race or lifestyle. (bias exorcised)
Don Imus should pay a price. But his firing might send the wrong message.
What does this mean for you and your clients?
Think through your decisions.
Carefully consider your desired outcome.
Take the long view.
Don’t decide out of emotion.
You probably don’t charge enough March 27, 2007
Posted by Jeff in Client Selection, Pricing.add a comment
The lower your prices, the more pain in the . . . neck your clients will be.
That’s the conclusion that my friend, Rand, and I came to after talking about the changes in his business.
Rand is in the courier business, but the lessons are applicable to what you do. 10 years ago, I was Rand’s operations manager. A year before I started, Rand’s company was mostly bicycle messengers. The average day had 100 jobs dispatched, most of them at $3.99 a job. (You do the math . . . $399/day gross!). Not only did this have a significant drain on his dispatcher, he also had extensive customer service problems.
The $3.99 customer was highly demanding, easily dissatisfied, slow-paying, and disloyal.
He didn’t notice just how difficult the $3.99 client was until he compared them to new clients who needed packages delivered longer distances within an hour (read: paid and valued a more expensive service).
By the time I started, Rand was dispatching half the jobs at three times the profit. His complaint ratio dropped by more than half and the payment cycle . . .
The best of his $3.99 customers would pay in 90 days!!!
After the customer upgrade, his average customer paid in 45 days!!!
Do you have problem clients?
Do they hold your offering in high enough esteem?
It may be time to review your pricing.
To my good friend, George Enell July 27, 2006
Posted by Jeff in Uncategorized.2 comments
George Enell retired shortly after I earned my master’s degree in 1992. He passed away in 2003. George didn’t merely convince me to “be myself” even in my most formal writing assignments, convention papers, and thesis. George had a way of celebrating the richness of the life around him.
He had an uncommon gift of appreciating the uniqueness of who you are simply be interacting with you. In my experience, most are uncomfortable with the differences they have with others. The more similar you are, the more “normal” you are, the more that you fall in line with expectations, the less threatening you are.
George Enell was completely different. George suffered from some sort of boredom by the ordinary. He genuinely appreciated the novel, the unique, the unexpected. Surprise gave him life.
Everyone should have a George Enell in his or her life at some point. In his honor, here are some of my favorite memories of George Enell.
Mulholland Drive
A few of my classmates and I joined George for his signature tour of Los Angeles. As he lived across from the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, that was our first stop. Inside I happened to turn a corner and was greeted by David Hockney’s Mulholland Drive.
Mulholland Drive is over six feet tall and twenty feet wide. It is colorful and vibrant. It took my breath away. I walked from one end of the 20 feet to the other, taking in its nuances and shades. When George came around the corner, he joined me.
I looked at the enormity of it and guessed, “Mulholland?” “That’s right!” he exclaimed in that pride that only a teacher can express for a student.
Roughly a year later, George’s dad had passed away and I paid him a visit to check in on him. We spoke for a while when I noticed the print on the wall behind him: Mulholland Drive, except much smaller. George noticed my interest, took it off the wall, and handed it to me.
I told him I couldn’t accept, not at a time like this. He insisted, said he knew I would want it, and knew that it would be in good hands. What I didn’t know at the time was that George would soon announce his retirement from the university. Mulholland Drive remains in my living room to this day.
Aardvark’s
During the same Los Angeles tour we walked along Melrose Avenue, which has a unique and eclectic group of stores and restaurants. It wasn’t uncommon to find famous actors and celebrities walking along Melrose. It is also one of the most interesting cross-sections of people you will ever find. Quintessential George!
One of the stores on Melrose Avenue was Aardvark’s, which was a clothing store that seemingly clothed the Melrose culture. Nothing conservative here: feather boas, colorful dress and pants, and spiked heeled shoes-one set with fishbowls in the heels! Very colorful. Completely outlandish.
After about 15 minutes of us checking out the clothes, George announced, “We aren’t leaving here until we find something for Jeff!” So began the search. Now I must tell you, at that age you couldn’t pay me enough money to wear a feather boa, or anything with a heel, or most anything else in the store for that matter.
My friends and George tried on everything from coats with tails, to pimp hats, to leather chaps. They had a blast! I did too; I just wasn’t letting them in on it.
Finally, hidden under a huge stack of clothes, I found a simple black beret. George roared with laughter, “leave it to Jeff to find the most conservative article in the store.”
Oh, that old thing!
There were lots of little moments that I treasured with George. One example is when he relayed to us the time he and his wife were looking for daycare for their son. His son is about the same age as I am, so this was some years before.
He and his wife had visited a number of centers that day. His wife was in charge of the itinerary. By the sixth or seventh stop, George couldn’t track where they were or in what school they had visited anymore. They all began to look the same.
They came to one school where the director proudly displayed all of the new teaching and childcare practices the school had adopted. Apparently, the school was part of a new innovative system of childcare. George, however, found something very
familiar with the practices the director was so proud of.
“I’m sorry, what system are you teaching here?” George asked. The director proudly exclaimed the school was Montessori school. George responded, “Oh, that old thing!”
What George knew that the school director did not was that the Montessori method dates back to the early 1900’s (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montessori_method).
Classic George!
George was a friend and a mentor. He enriched my life.
Are You Operating on Interactive Autopilot? July 14, 2006
Posted by Jeff in Decision-Making.add a comment
I was sitting in my local bookstore/coffee shop reading . . . well . . . a book, when a lady came up to me and politely asked if anybody was sitting in the seat next to me. As another lady had left the seat a few moments ago with her belongings and had not indicated she was coming back, I politely offered, “not at the moment.”
To know me is to understand my response to this polite exchange.
I started chuckling. I had to contain my laughter so that I would not draw attention. I found this exchange—and my participation in it—absolutely hilarious.
If you put aside the courtesy motives, it was a perfectly useless exchange as both her question, “Is anybody sitting there?” and my response, “Not at the moment.” were plainly self-evident.
While our motives were courteous and friendly, this exchange belies the autopilot that humans often engage in when interacting.
This autopilot can sometimes lead you off-course.
Take the example of a client who acts inappropriately urgent. Sometimes this urgency—no matter how ungenuine—can leave you vulnerable to responding to a request at face value. In other words, to respond with your interactive autopilot.
Instead of acting on autopilot with your clients, you should always see motivation as part of the message. Learn what drives your clients behavior, and you can build far more mutually beneficial relationships.
One method of uncovering your client’s motives and needs is to facilitate the building of a needs hierarchy.
How Being More Selective Can Bring You More Profitable Clients May 6, 2006
Posted by Jeff in Client Selection.add a comment
That is what was on my list of qualities.
Qualities I was looking for in . . . a girlfriend. I was in my 20’s and was unhappy with my love life. I read a book that suggested that in order to find the love you are looking for, you should identify the characteristics you desire in her.
How were you supposed to identify the right characteristics? The book suggested a number of categories to choose from: looks, interest, religious orientation, etc. It also suggested qualities for each category.
So being the lovelorn fellow that I was, I dutifully constructed my list and came up with 53 individual items. Then, I was supposed to go one step further and share my list with all of my friends and close relatives. In this way, those who thought the best of me could be allies in my search.
To suggest that I took a little ribbing—albeit gentle—is an understatement. After a few weeks, the list disappeared into a folder somewhere to collect dust. The experience left me with a loss of face and still, no girlfriend.
Not such a smart book, eh?
Criteria for Friendship
In so many words, this book was suggesting I define a criteria for friendship. This is not a new concept. Aristotle defined his criteria for friendship as, “Each wishes the good of the friend for the sake of the friend.”
But, how do we form the bonds of friendship?
Many relationship experts suggest that each of us have an instinctive need to grow and develop. This need attracts us to those who embody the qualities that we aspire to possess. It also protects us by repelling us from those who embody characteristics that we find undesirable.
There are two complimentary reasons for this. First, like attracts like. Second, we as humans intuitively understand that we are—to a significant degree—the company we keep.
The instinctive nature of this process leaves relationship selection, for the most part, unconscious. It stays unconscious until you take conscious control. This is more likely to happen when you do not like the results that your unconscious produces, such as an unsatisfactory love life.
Friend Selection System
The ribbing I took for my list came with the criticism that I could not treat my love life like a shopping list. Taking a list of 53 items to the grocery store could certainly fill a refrigerator, or perhaps three.
But, a shopping list is no way to find a lover. There is something magical, chemical, and romantic in love. But, does that mean there is no system?
Sometimes, magic works. If you select your relationships this way, and you end up with friends “who wish the good in you for the sake of you’” great! But, this strategy can leave love, friendship, and client selection to chance.
What is working may be nothing more than a happy accident. Accidents are rarely happy.
Purpose of Client Relationships
Even relationships that come from happy accidents can have a profound effect on us. Relationships have the effect of helping or hindering our natural growth, as spouses and parents, as friends and professionals.
When you grow, your relationships may have to change, or even end, in order to accommodate the new you. As true as this is for personal relationships, it is also true for your client relationships.
The impact that your clients can have on your company and career should convince you to be highly selective. To be anything less than focused is analogous to leaving your retirement to a role of the dice.
Defining or Reevaluating Client Selection Criteria
In my observations, many advisory professionals define their target market. They define their target by industry, income or revenue, company size, years of experience or age, etc
I suggest you go a step further and define selection criteria for your clients. A target market defines the clients you would like to approach. Selection criteria define the clients you choose to work with.
Keep a few things in mind. First, happy accidents are still accidents. It’s only a matter of time before one of them turns out less than happy.
Second, when you are in a position to say “no” to a prospective client because you do not see a fit, it can not only enhance your esteem, but it can also facilitate the start of your client relationships with an appropriate amount of equality.
To get you started, here are three concepts to keep in mind.
1. Focus on the task, initially, and not so much on the person or company
A target niche is nice. Eventually, you will really want to get down and devise a profile of what you want in a client. But before you even start applying the profile, you really have to look at your role in your client’s business from his or her perspective.
What task are you going to accomplish for your client? Your client is looking at a mountain of work to accomplish and has a need to offload a task or responsibility. Offloading this responsibility and knowing it will be done in excellence saves your client tremendous mindspace.
This is where you come in. Focus on the task first. If your prospective client needs help with this specific issue, you can move through your selection sequence. If your client does not need the service you provide, help him or her find a resource in a manner appropriate to the current depth of your relationship, and move on.
Never work through the selection process or entertain serious discussions until you can identify that your service meets your prospective client’s need.
2. Learn how your prospective client treats others.
Ratheon Chairman and CEO, William Swanson, in his booklet, Swanson’s Unwritten Rules of Management, Rule #32: “A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter – or to others – is not a nice person. (This rule never fails.)”
This is an example of situational ethics. People who regard the appropriateness of their behavior as flexible should be avoided. It is only a matter of time before the circumstances of your relationship change. When they do, you can expect poor behavior.
Spotting someone who treats others poorly is not difficult, even if they exude charm in what they perceive to be the right situations. When your prospect is on his or her best behavior, look at the demeanor of those he or she interacts with, especially employees. The reactions and behavior of those who interact with your prospect on a daily basis will tell you a great deal.
Identify when your prospect’s mood is good or not so good. Compare the degree of the mood change to the issue that your prospect is reacting to. Is it appropriate or does it feel too subdued or too emphatic?
And of course, listen to your gut.
3. What company does your prospect keep?
It is true for your prospect as much as it is true for you. You can tell a lot about another by the company they keep.
What Do You Want to Become?
Be mindful and conscious of the professional and/or company you want to become. If you truly are the company you keep, then the clients you select will have a substantial influence on your success in achieving the vision you have for yourself.
Select the work, the clients, and the work dynamic that will support you becoming who you aim to be.
Remember that list of 53 items that found it’s way into a folder to collect dust? I lost track of that list over ten years before I met my wife. Not long ago, while sorting through some old papers, I found it. All 53 items were still legible under all that dust.
And you know what? My wife clearly meets 50 of the items and we can make a good argument for two of the other three. Not a bad ratio.
Leave your client relationships to happy accidents if you want, but I’ll take a system any day. And I have the happy marriage to prove it. 8->
Happy Client Retaining,
