Hi, my name is Jeff Simon, and I have a question for you, 

"If conflict is inevitable, then why do some relationships end in conflict and others thrive in its aftermath?"

This question has been a constant source of investigation and discovery throughout my education and career. I have always been interested in the human need to engage in conflict, and how effectively managing and engaging in conflict can serve human relationships.

I have had the good fortune to pursue this curiosity in operations, management, and communications positions in aerospace, transportation, financial services, bankruptcy law, and academia. My clients have included closely held companies, Fortune 100 corporations, and government entities.

Do you hold a Doctorate in Communication Studies or Conflict Negotiation?

Certainly not in the academic sense. But, I tutored under a remarkable man that you never heard of and probably never will named Rand. I’ve read hundreds of books and seen dozens of lectures. None of them were as educational as the time I worked for Rand in a small company in Sacramento, California. Rand has a lot to say, and a lot to teach. He just chooses to teach in a very low profile way. He has dozens of books inside of him, and I suspect not a one of them will ever be written with his name on the cover.

For four years, I enjoyed the good fortune of his tutelage. Before I met Rand, I earned my bachelor’s and master’s degrees in a discipline now known as communication studies. My master’s work focused on intercultural conflict, specifically on how our concern for another influences our choices in conflict. I refer to my time spent with Rand as my third (college) degree.

But, my education in customer service started long before I ever met Rand.

It all started at the tender age of 5!

I’m not kidding! I can still vividly recall the time that I was traveling with my grandpa, Elias, who was a pottery wholesaler making Holiday time visits to his customers. He was handing out Christmas gifts to his customer’s employees.

In one store, he walked up to an older man pushing the mop, handed him a bottle of expensive scotch and said with a wink and a smile, “keep this between you and me.” You should have seen the quiet look of gratitude on the older man’s face. Grandpa told me later, “Always treat the man pushing the mop as well as you treat the president, and always treat them well.”

My grandfather was in the pottery wholesale business, but he didn't sell pottery. He sold himself: his humor and humanity, his generosity and friendship, his charity and resourcefulness. At my young age, there was no way I could have understood how remarkable this was. It took me years to put this into perspective. But, the lessons about how to treat your clients and customers, about protection, care, and guidance have stayed with me throughout my lifetime.

Field-tested in Conflict Management

At the less tender age of 19, I worked as a receptionist in my dad’s office. He was a bankruptcy lawyer and Interim Bankruptcy Court Trustee. Trustees are responsible for managing the assets of bankrupt estates for the benefit of creditors. No one liked trustees in the 80’s: not the debtors who were losing their assets, not the creditors, who could never get their money fast enough. I fielded 250 calls a day: all of them angry, all of them wanting to holler at dear old dad.

I’ve been managing conflict episodes—most without actually being a party in the conflict—ever since.